Irresponsible: Tory Bill Passed to Allow Brits to Get “Properly on the Lash” This Summer

A Tory Lord has passed a bill that would allow English and Scottish football fans to get “properly on the lash” at this Summer’s Euros.

Euros Kicks off This Summer

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As the highly anticipated Euros tournament kicks off this summer, one Tory Lord made a bizarre statement in the House of Lords regarding a new law.

Britain’s Drinking Culture

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The men’s football tournament is synonymous with Britain’s pub culture, with millions of hopeful Brits likely to drink the pubs dry.

Tories Make Surprise Summer Announcement

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One aspect of society that football isn’t synonymous with is politics, but this year that’s all changed after a surprise announcement from the Tories.

Political Clash With Sporting Summer

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Prime Minister Rishi Sunak announced a general election for the 4th of July, meaning that it will clash with a number of sporting events.

Tories Last Push for Summer Law

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The events include some of the most prominent in British culture, such as the Euros and Wimbledon, causing the Tories to push for one last law before Parliament shuts down.

Good News for Football Fans

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The law passed will allow British pubs to stay open later in the event that a UK national team makes the semi-finals and/or final of the Euros.

An Extra Hour of Drinking

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Pubs will now be licensed to sell alcohol right until 1am on the night of the matches, allowing fans an extra hour of celebration.

England and Scotland Make the Cut

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Both the England and Scotland national teams qualified for the Euros this Summer, with Wales narrowly missing out at the hands of Ukraine.

Tory Lord’s Humorous Comment

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As the bill was being passed in the House of Lords, one Tory Lord, Lord Sharpe of Epsom, made the comment that sent the House into a rare fit of laughter.

Football Fans’ Chance to Booze

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Lord Sharpe suggested that the new law gave football fans across the country a chance to get properly drunk this summer.

Fans to Get “Properly on the Lash”

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Lord Sharpe insisted that the law would allow fans to get “properly on the lash” while enjoying their teams’ victory or drowning in their sorrows.

Lord’s Anticipation for Summer of Heavy Drinking

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Speaking to the House, Lord Sharpe said it brought him “particular pleasure” to announce the new law as the anticipation for the Summer heats up.

A Lord’s Rare Opportunity 

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“So much of the business at the Home Offices is difficult, so it gives me particular pleasure that my last outing basically enables people to get properly on the lash,” Lord Sharpe said.

Sunak’s Election Campaign

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Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, a keen fan of cricket and Southampton Football Club, may well be too busy campaigning to enjoy an extra couple of hours in the boozer on July 4th.

Polls Predict Landslide

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The Prime Minister’s Conservative Party are sitting 30 points behind Labour in the polls, showing a potential landslide defeat is on the cards.

Scottish Parents as a Factor

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The date of the election has the potential to enrage Scottish sports fans and parents as their kids break up for the holidays the week before the election, although English schools do not.

Holding back the Holiday

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This means that if they wanted to cast a vote, they would have to hold back any plans for a Summer holiday with their families, whereas English families would not have to worry.

SNP MP Hits Out 

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One SNP MP spoke of the annoyance for his country and its residents as the election was announced in the middle of the school holidays.

Summer Election “Final Insult” on Scotland

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Pete Wishart said, “A Scottish school summer holiday election is the final insult this Tory Government can impose on Scotland.”

A Shining Light

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The new law can be seen as one shining light after the election announcement that disrupted so many plans this Summer.

25 Things You CAN’T Talk About Anymore

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Remember the days when you could freely discuss just about anything without fear of sparking controversy? Well, those days are long gone. In today’s hyper-sensitive world, there are topics so fraught with tension that even mentioning them can lead to heated debates and hurt feelings. 25 Things You CAN’T Talk About Anymore

Stranded: 15 Worst British Cars in History

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Ever had a car that spent more time with the mechanic than on the road? A car that turned every journey into a game of “Will we actually get there?” If so, you might just see a familiar face (or should we say, chassis) in our countdown to the most unreliable British car in history. Stranded: 15 Worst British Cars in History

“Britain Will Become Unrecognizable” – Suella Braverman Spells Disaster for UK Amid Steep Rise in Visas Issued

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Former Home Secretary Suella Braverman has warned that Britain will become “unrecognizable,” criticizing the amount of work visas the Home Office has approved, despite only being removed from her role in November. “Britain Will Become Unrecognizable” – Suella Braverman Spells Disaster for UK Amid Steep Rise in Visas Issued

20 Things From the ‘70s That Are Not OK Today

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Step into the time machine and set the dial to the 1970s, a decade of disco, bell-bottoms, and some rather questionable choices. While the ’70s gave us iconic music and groundbreaking TV, not everything from this groovy era would get a green light today. 20 Things From the ‘70s That Are Not OK Today

20 Best and Worst Universities in the UK

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Navigating the UK university landscape is like deciphering a complex code of rankings, reviews, and reputations to uncover where you’ll not just learn, but truly flourish. Whether you’re drawn to the historic halls of Oxford or the creative buzz of Goldsmiths, finding your perfect fit is about aligning your aspirations with the unique offerings of each institution. 20 Best and Worst Universities in the UK

The post Vote Winner: Tory’s Bizarre Bill Passed to Allow Brits to Get “Properly on the Lash” This Summer first appeared on Edge Media.

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Oscar Davies, an expert in US and UK politics and sports, is renowned for his sharp and engaging writing style, appealing to a broad spectrum of readers.

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