The world of employment is constantly evolving, and with it comes a slew of bizarre new roles. Are these jobs the future, or just a sign that we’ve gone completely bonkers?
1. Eco-Friendly Latte Art Consultant
This role requires creating intricate, environmentally-conscious designs in latte foam. With salaries around £25,000, it’s perfect for the artistic barista who also loves saving the planet, one frothy leaf at a time.
2. Social Justice Warrior Influencer
Earning up to £40,000, these individuals spend their days creating content that promotes various social justice causes. It’s essentially being paid to rant online—something your mum said you’d never get paid for.
3. Diversity and Inclusion Guru
Diversity officers, earning about £50,000, are hired to ensure that workplaces are inclusive. They develop training programs and policies, making sure no one’s feelings get hurt in the office.
4. Chief Empathy Officer
This high-level position focuses on promoting empathy within organisations, with a salary up to £70,000. Essentially, it’s being the office hugger, minus the awkward physical contact.
5. Zero-Waste Event Planner
Specialising in organising events with no environmental footprint, these planners can make around £30,000. They ensure all party hats are made of recycled newspaper and the confetti is compostable.
6. Vegan Slogan Creator
Working for eco-friendly cafes and brands, these creatives develop catchy slogans promoting vegan lifestyles. The job pays about £22,000, which might just cover the cost of a daily oat milk latte.
7. Mindfulness Coach
Mindfulness coaches, earning approximately £35,000, teach meditation and stress-relief techniques to employees. It’s basically getting paid to tell people to breathe and take it easy.
8. Climate Change Fashion Consultant
With a salary of around £45,000, these consultants advise fashion brands on how to be more eco-friendly. They help reduce carbon footprints, ensuring your new jacket won’t melt a polar ice cap.
9. Intersectionality Analyst
Paid up to £50,000, intersectionality analysts study how various forms of discrimination overlap and affect people. Their research is crucial for those who want to know just how oppressed they are.
10. Ethical Hacker
Earning around £60,000, these professionals test security systems to find vulnerabilities before real hackers do. They’re the digital equivalent of those TV shows that test home security by breaking into houses.
11. Digital Detox Specialist
Helping people reduce their screen time, these specialists make about £28,000. They create programs to encourage offline activities, because apparently going outside needs a consultant now.
12. Eco-Conscious Interior Designer
With salaries around £40,000, these designers create living spaces using sustainable materials and practices. They ensure your home is as green as the recycled wallpaper on your walls.
13. Anti-Racism Consultant
These consultants, earning about £55,000, develop strategies to combat racism within organisations. They conduct training sessions to ensure everyone remembers to check their privilege at the door.
14. Gender Pronoun Advisor
Advisors earning up to £30,000 guide companies in correctly using gender pronouns. They create resources and conduct training to make sure no one’s identity is overlooked.
15. Ethical Investment Advisor
Earning around £50,000, these advisors help clients invest in socially responsible companies. They ensure that investments don’t support anything more sinister than overpriced vegan cheese.
16. Urban Foraging Guide
With salaries around £25,000, these guides teach people how to find edible plants in urban settings. Perfect for those who think food should be scavenged from parks rather than bought in stores.
17. Pet Therapist
Pet therapists, earning about £35,000, provide mental health support for animals. They work with pets suffering from anxiety and behavioural issues—because even dogs need therapy now.
18. Zero-Waste Chef
Specialising in creating meals with no waste, these chefs earn around £30,000. They use every part of the ingredients, ensuring that even the carrot tops find their way into a dish.
19. Inclusive Language Specialist
Earning about £40,000, these specialists ensure that company communications are inclusive and non-discriminatory. They review and revise documents to align with inclusivity standards, making sure no word hurts anyone’s feelings.
20. DUI Officer
Tasked with maintaining sobriety checks and awareness, these officers make around £35,000. Their role is crucial in promoting safe driving and ensuring no one gets behind the wheel after one too many organic craft beers.
21. Urban Beekeeper
Earning up to £25,000, urban beekeepers manage bee populations in city environments. They help promote biodiversity and support local ecosystems, all while avoiding getting stung.
And the Jobs Keep Getting Weirder
As society continues to evolve, so do the job opportunities. Whether these roles are a sign of progress or just plain madness, they certainly keep things interesting.
25 Things You CAN’T Talk About Anymore
Remember the days when you could freely discuss just about anything without fear of sparking controversy? Well, those days are long gone. In today’s hyper-sensitive world, there are topics so fraught with tension that even mentioning them can lead to heated debates and hurt feelings. 25 Things You CAN’T Talk About Anymore
Stranded: 15 Worst British Cars in History
Ever had a car that spent more time with the mechanic than on the road? A car that turned every journey into a game of “Will we actually get there?” If so, you might just see a familiar face (or should we say, chassis) in our countdown to the most unreliable British car in history. Stranded: 15 Worst British Cars in History
“Britain Will Become Unrecognizable” – Suella Braverman Spells Disaster for UK Amid Steep Rise in Visas Issued
Former Home Secretary Suella Braverman has warned that Britain will become “unrecognizable,” criticizing the amount of work visas the Home Office has approved, despite only being removed from her role in November. “Britain Will Become Unrecognizable” – Suella Braverman Spells Disaster for UK Amid Steep Rise in Visas Issued
20 Things From the ‘70s That Are Not OK Today
Step into the time machine and set the dial to the 1970s, a decade of disco, bell-bottoms, and some rather questionable choices. While the ’70s gave us iconic music and groundbreaking TV, not everything from this groovy era would get a green light today. 20 Things From the ‘70s That Are Not OK Today
20 Best and Worst Universities in the UK
Navigating the UK university landscape is like deciphering a complex code of rankings, reviews, and reputations to uncover where you’ll not just learn, but truly flourish. Whether you’re drawn to the historic halls of Oxford or the creative buzz of Goldsmiths, finding your perfect fit is about aligning your aspirations with the unique offerings of each institution. 20 Best and Worst Universities in the UK
The post Bonkers: 21 of the Wokist UK Jobs Ever Dreamed Up first appeared on Edge Media.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / SeventyFour.
For transparency, this content was partly developed with AI assistance and carefully curated by an experienced editor to be informative and ensure accuracy.