Is That Even a Real Job? 21 Ridiculous Woke Roles

The world of employment is constantly evolving, and with it comes a slew of bizarre new roles. Are these jobs the future, or just a sign that we’ve gone completely bonkers?

1. Eco-Friendly Latte Art Consultant

Image Credit: Shutterstock / FLUKY FLUKY

This role requires creating intricate, environmentally-conscious designs in latte foam. With salaries around £25,000, it’s perfect for the artistic barista who also loves saving the planet, one frothy leaf at a time.

2. Social Justice Warrior Influencer

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Drazen Zigic

Earning up to £40,000, these individuals spend their days creating content that promotes various social justice causes. It’s essentially being paid to rant online—something your mum said you’d never get paid for.

3. Diversity and Inclusion Guru

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Ground Picture

Diversity officers, earning about £50,000, are hired to ensure that workplaces are inclusive. They develop training programs and policies, making sure no one’s feelings get hurt in the office.

4. Chief Empathy Officer

Image Credit: Shutterstock / fizkes

This high-level position focuses on promoting empathy within organisations, with a salary up to £70,000. Essentially, it’s being the office hugger, minus the awkward physical contact.

5. Zero-Waste Event Planner

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Chay_Tee

Specialising in organising events with no environmental footprint, these planners can make around £30,000. They ensure all party hats are made of recycled newspaper and the confetti is compostable.

6. Vegan Slogan Creator

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Maria Shipakina

Working for eco-friendly cafes and brands, these creatives develop catchy slogans promoting vegan lifestyles. The job pays about £22,000, which might just cover the cost of a daily oat milk latte.

7. Mindfulness Coach

Image Credit: Shutterstock / fizkes

Mindfulness coaches, earning approximately £35,000, teach meditation and stress-relief techniques to employees. It’s basically getting paid to tell people to breathe and take it easy.

8. Climate Change Fashion Consultant

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Violator22

With a salary of around £45,000, these consultants advise fashion brands on how to be more eco-friendly. They help reduce carbon footprints, ensuring your new jacket won’t melt a polar ice cap.

9. Intersectionality Analyst

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Gorodenkoff

Paid up to £50,000, intersectionality analysts study how various forms of discrimination overlap and affect people. Their research is crucial for those who want to know just how oppressed they are.

10. Ethical Hacker

Image Credit: Shutterstock / PeopleImages.com – Yuri A

Earning around £60,000, these professionals test security systems to find vulnerabilities before real hackers do. They’re the digital equivalent of those TV shows that test home security by breaking into houses.

11. Digital Detox Specialist

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Syda Productions

Helping people reduce their screen time, these specialists make about £28,000. They create programs to encourage offline activities, because apparently going outside needs a consultant now.

12. Eco-Conscious Interior Designer

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Pixel-Shot

With salaries around £40,000, these designers create living spaces using sustainable materials and practices. They ensure your home is as green as the recycled wallpaper on your walls.

13. Anti-Racism Consultant

Image Credit: Shutterstock / SeventyFour

These consultants, earning about £55,000, develop strategies to combat racism within organisations. They conduct training sessions to ensure everyone remembers to check their privilege at the door.

14. Gender Pronoun Advisor

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Ground Picture

Advisors earning up to £30,000 guide companies in correctly using gender pronouns. They create resources and conduct training to make sure no one’s identity is overlooked.

15. Ethical Investment Advisor

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Andrey_Popov

Earning around £50,000, these advisors help clients invest in socially responsible companies. They ensure that investments don’t support anything more sinister than overpriced vegan cheese.

16. Urban Foraging Guide

Image Credit: Shutterstock / RossHelen

With salaries around £25,000, these guides teach people how to find edible plants in urban settings. Perfect for those who think food should be scavenged from parks rather than bought in stores.

17. Pet Therapist

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Jus_Ol

Pet therapists, earning about £35,000, provide mental health support for animals. They work with pets suffering from anxiety and behavioural issues—because even dogs need therapy now.

18. Zero-Waste Chef

Image Credit: Shutterstock / LightField Studios

Specialising in creating meals with no waste, these chefs earn around £30,000. They use every part of the ingredients, ensuring that even the carrot tops find their way into a dish.

19. Inclusive Language Specialist

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Inside Creative House

Earning about £40,000, these specialists ensure that company communications are inclusive and non-discriminatory. They review and revise documents to align with inclusivity standards, making sure no word hurts anyone’s feelings.

20. DUI Officer

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Karlis Dambrans

Tasked with maintaining sobriety checks and awareness, these officers make around £35,000. Their role is crucial in promoting safe driving and ensuring no one gets behind the wheel after one too many organic craft beers.

21. Urban Beekeeper

Image Credit: Shutterstock / 24K-Production

Earning up to £25,000, urban beekeepers manage bee populations in city environments. They help promote biodiversity and support local ecosystems, all while avoiding getting stung.

And the Jobs Keep Getting Weirder

Image Credit: Shutterstock / sirtravelalot

As society continues to evolve, so do the job opportunities. Whether these roles are a sign of progress or just plain madness, they certainly keep things interesting.

10 Worst Places to Live in the UK Today

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Drew McArthur

Here’s a look at the 10 worst places to live in the UK, based on statistical analysis and local sentiment, to help you understand the challenges residents may face in these areas. 10 Worst Places to Live in the UK Today

“We Will Never Come to Help You” – Trump’s Hurtful Words Raise Concerns About EU Firepower

Image Credit: Shutterstock / lev radin

It was revealed in a conference in Brussels that former President Donald Trump said in 2020 that the US would “never help” Europe if it was attacked. Now, European nations are grouping to commit more firepower to combat Putin’s threat to democracy. “We Will Never Come to Help You” – Trump’s Hurtful Words Raise Concerns About EU Firepower

Brexit Fallout: 20 Ways the EU Is Falling Apart Without the UK

Image Credit: Shutterstock / Alexandros Michailidis

Since Brexit, the EU has been grappling with multiple crises and internal conflicts. Can the bloc hold itself together in these turbulent times? Brexit Fallout: 20 Ways the EU Is Falling Apart Without the UK

Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / fizkes.

For transparency, this content was partly developed with AI assistance and carefully curated by an experienced editor to be informative and ensure accuracy.

Leave a Comment