Have you ever suspected someone might be ex-military? It’s not just about the crisp salutes or shiny boots. Here’s a no-nonsense guide to spotting British ex-servicemen as they navigate civilian life.
1. Loves a Good Queue
Their queuing ability is Olympian. Whether it’s at the bank or the bar, ex-military folk will find the end of a line and stick to it—patiently and tactically.
2. Watches on the Right Wrist
Many are accustomed to wearing their watch on the right wrist—it’s practical for checking the time while holding a weapon in the left.
3. The 1000-Yard Stare
They can often be seen gazing into the distance with a look that’s seen more than a few things. It’s not judgement; it’s just a default setting.
4. Haircuts Remain Regimented
The hair might grey, but the style stays the same: short, tidy, and ever-prepared for an impromptu inspection.
5. Punctuality Is a Lifestyle
If they say 0800, they don’t mean 0801. To a British ex-military, ‘late’ is a dirty word.
6. Fondness for Camo
A surprising amount of their wardrobe still features camouflage. It’s practical, hides stains brilliantly, and never really goes out of style—at least for them.
7. Unshakable Love for a Brew
Tea is more than a beverage; it’s a ritual. They brew a cup with military precision and seriousness.
8. Fondness for Jargon
Expect military jargon to drop into everyday conversation. Phrases like “Oscar Mike” (on the move) or “Bogey” (unknown contact) are second nature.
9. Boots Polished to a Mirror Shine
Their shoes can double as a shaving mirror. The habit of boot polishing endures as a lifelong commitment.
10. Uses Military Time
Civilian time is for civilians. Expect any reference to time to be in a 24-hour format, clear and without confusion.
11. Loves an Understatement
“It’s just a scratch” could refer to anything from a paper cut to a broken limb. The art of understatement is a badge of honour.
12. Always Sit Facing the Door
In any pub or restaurant, they’ll choose a seat with a view of the exits. Old habits die hard.
13. Tactical Everywhere
From packing for a holiday to loading the dishwasher, everything is done with military efficiency and strategy.
14. Weather-Proof
They’re prepared for all weather conditions, often carrying what appears to be the contents of a small survival store in their backpack.
15. Master of the DIY SOS
Give them a problem and a Swiss Army knife, and they’ll sort it. From fixing a leaky tap to assembling furniture, it’s all about the mission.
16. Steely Composure
Their face doesn’t give much away, especially in a crisis. It’s called maintaining composure, and it’s drilled in from day one.
17. Physically Disciplined
They maintain a level of fitness that suggests they could still drop and give you twenty at any moment.
18. The Walking Map
Asking for directions is unnecessary. They’ve memorized routes, landmarks, and probably still have an old compass just in case.
19. Respect for Authority
A deep-seated respect for hierarchy and order can be seen in both their professional and personal lives. Chain of command matters.
20. Eye for Detail
Nothing escapes their notice, from a misaligned picture frame to an untied shoelace. Details matter, always.
Still Among Us
Spotting a British ex-military might be easier than you think. Just look for the person who’s prepared for anything, has a plan for everything, and still holds a faint hope for a properly made cup of tea in the chaos of civilian life.
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